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Access and the Holidays
Holidays are meant to bring families closer together for celebration and joy, but that???s not how it is in every household. There are many families who struggle with the holidays because of custody issues. Fighting over who gets to spend Thanksgiving or Christmas Day with children is a horrible way to enter the holidays. Here are some helpful hints for how to approach and survive the holidays when custody is a concern. Review any existing Separation Agreement and/or Court Orders Most agreements or court orders are drafted to account for different scenarios where guidance is required such as division of access on holidays. ??Separation Agreements and Court Orders are legally binding documents. That means that no matter what you feel, the document rules over all decision making. Be prepared and talk in advance with the other parent If there is a special need for you to have your children over a specific holiday, but if it isn???t in your access rights to have them, have a real conversation with the other parent and see if you can change things to be in your favour. There is no better way to approach things than by having an open and honest conversation and not allowing negative emotions to cloud the dialogue. ??Also, do not wait until the last minute to discuss the parenting time for a specific holiday.?? Agreements should be made well in advance, to allow both parents to make necessary arrangements. Be flexible and willing to compromise With matters of separation or divorce and two different households, there must always be flexibility and room to compromise. Perhaps breakfast and lunch can be had at one house while afternoon and dinner can be had at the other. Any variety of compromises are available if the participating parties are able to work together amicably.?? The holidays are meant to bring families closer together and create happiness for all. Try to make as big of an effort as possible to get along and work together with the other parent. Be willing to accept the outcome no matter what Sometimes in life we just don???t get what we want. If Christmas happens to fall on a day where you don???t have your kids, and if your ex is not willing to let you have them, then sometimes you just need to cut your losses and accept that your Christmas will need to be celebrated on a different day. It is not worth fighting over the holidays and possibly ruining your children???s holiday happiness. Remember that Christmas is more for the kids than anything and that you need to do everything you can to ensure they are surrounded by happiness and not stress. Have your celebration on the 24th or the 26th; children will remember the joy, not the date on the calendar. Involve lawyers and courts as a last resort If there is reason to make amendments to your existing agreement or court order, or reason to involve a family lawyer, then by all means do so. But ensure that it is your last resort. Not only does it cost extra money at a time of year where money may already be tight, but the involvement of the legal system as an intervention is sure to cause extra animosity. To keep costs under...
read more4 Important Topics to Discuss Before Marriage
With Ontario hosting more than 40% of all reported divorces in Canada*, perhaps people should ask more questions prior to getting married. There are fundamental things people should agree on before getting married, and the time to ask those questions and discover things about your significant other is before marriage, not after. Before you walk down the aisle and say ???I do,??? go out on a coffee date and discuss these important topics with your soon-to-be husband/wife. Finances When you get married in the Province of Ontario, unless you write a marriage contract, each spouse automatically becomes entitled to an equal share of the profits of that marriage, pursuant to Ontario???s property equalization scheme under the Family Law Act.?? This being said, it is important that you discuss how finances are to be handled in your household. Will there be a joint bank account or will you retain separate accounts? If one spouse makes significantly more money than the other, are they each expected to be financially independent? How will bills be handled if one spouse loses their job, goes on maternity/paternity leave, becomes a stay-at-home parent, or is unable to work? Is either spouse bringing debt into the marriage? Do your long-term financial goals align? A high number of divorces are caused by fights over finances, so be certain you have a plan going into the marriage before your fates are intertwined. Children The decision to have children is a touchy subject. Some people are set on the fact that they want children, some are just as firm on their stance to remain childless. Although concrete decisions about having children do not need to be made, as sometimes these feelings change, you may learn you or your spouse is physically unable to have children, and accidents happen, it should definitely be a topic of conversation. If someone is set to never have children, that could be a deal breaker for someone else who really wants a family. Find this out before marriage, not after. ??You should also discuss if either parent will stay at home with the children, will the children attend daycare, and what type of school the children would attend. Religion and Expectations Religion can play a very important role in many people???s lives. Although not everyone follows their religious laws to the letter, they still may hold strong to some values. Make certain that discussions about religion and the expectations on you as a spouse are had prior to marriage. It should also be discussed how any children of the marriage are to be raised and if both parents agree on the religion choice. Household Chore Division It???s not a secret that living together is difficult. Some couples do not last because once they get married and realize how the other person keeps their house, it becomes a game changer. It can go either way: either you are too messy and a complete slob or you are too neurotic about cleanliness that the slightest mess causes a fight. You should go into a marriage with an understanding of what the chore division will be in your household. These are not discoveries you should make after marriage. These are just a few discussion topics that should be explored before you marry someone. A few in-depth conversations...
read more4 Advantages of a Parenting Plan
Creating a parenting plan should be one of the first steps taken when going through a separation involving children. This plan will outline things that the separating parents agree on for how to raise the children. Examples include living arrangements, religion, education, financial support, decision-making, parental roles – anything that involves the raising and interests of the children. Your parenting plan can be built into a separation agreement or a be standalone document, and it will be a valid legal document if it is in writing, signed, dated and witnessed. Here are some reasons why it???s important that you have a firm parenting plan in place. Reduction in Legal Fees Anything that can be handled outside of court will help the bottom line with respect to legal fees. When constructing the parenting plan, it is important to account for as many issues or situations that may come into question and propose a solution and/or a dispute resolution method right in the plan. This way if ever either parent is presented with a challenge that is outlined in the parenting plan, it???s very easy to find the answer without the involvement of the legal system. Create a Stable Environment for the Children The objective of drafting a parenting agreement is to have a plan established for the care and nurturing of the children. By creating a plan before conflict can set in, the children are more likely to be less affected by changes, thus creating a more stable environment. Children will better adjust to the new family dynamic if important facets of life such as their residence, school, doctor, relationships and religion remain as stable as possible. Minimize Conflict By addressing key points of contention in a separation in the parenting plan, many future conflicts can be prevented. The less conflict there is present in a family or household, the better it will be for everyone involved, especially the children. Children will thrive more in a happy household as opposed to a house constantly filled with tension, arguments, and anger. The parenting plan takes emotion out of the equation as much as possible. Sets a Guideline for Future Plans Not everything can be accounted for in the parenting plan. Lives change as time goes on and families can grow and blend over the years. Set a provision in the parenting plan that dictates how fundamental changes are going to be addressed in the future. This way if one parent wants to move to a different city to live, or change the child???s school for instance, the process to make the necessary changes to the plan will be laid out and already agreed upon. Creating a parenting plan involves both parents sitting down and discussing their children in an open and honest way. Having a plan will make life easier for all parties involved. Consult with a family lawyer to obtain legal advice when drafting a parenting plan. Whether it is to assist with drafting the plan or to advise you of your legal rights regarding the plan and parenting post-separation/divorce, Court Coach LLP can...
read morePutting the Best Interests of the Child First
Enduring a separation may feel like the most difficult task to live through for a grown adult, but imagine how traumatizing it can be for the children involved. Children are already trying to cope with the idea that Mommy and Daddy no longer live together, so try not to add any further stress to them. This can be done by always putting the interests of the child before your own interests. Here are some situations where you may need to remind yourself to put their interests first. When you feel immense anger towards your ex-partner, do not show it in front of the children This may be difficult to do at times, but it???s important you exercise caution when speaking your mind in front of your kids. They feel and hear all the negative energy you put out there and it affects them in ways you may not even see. Their relationship with the other parent is independent of your relationship with them as an ex-spouse, so you have no right to influence their opinion of the other parent with your negative venting sessions. Remember, children are more perceptive than you think, so be thoughtful both in what you say directly to your children and what you say within earshot. Do not miss any visits with your children When a child is bouncing from house to house, it???s important to maintain a sense of stability in the routine. If one parent is always late to a visitation or for a pick up, or constantly cancelling, the child may begin to feel as if they are not important to that parent. It???s difficult to explain to a small child why their parent can???t seem to keep their commitments. For the best interest of the child it is important that you don???t miss any scheduled visits unless you absolutely can???t help it. If you must miss the visit due to a business trip or other legitimate reason, call or video chat that night instead. Do not restrict visitation from the other parent No matter what your feelings are towards your ex-partner, remember they are the child???s parent too. If there is no cause for concern and the environment at your ex-partner???s is safe for the children to be in, then they should be given access to their own children. Not all separations have a court-ordered custody order, especially in the early stages of separation, so it???s important that each parent plays an active role in ensuring quality time is had with both parents. It???s in the best interest of the child to have a good relationship with both parents throughout the entire separation process. Although children may seem to be na??ve as to what is going on around them, they absolutely are not. They can be deeply affected by every angry argument, by any missed visits, and by a lack of time spent with a parent. Provided there are no concerns of abuse or neglect, put your own emotions aside and put the best interests of the children first. Consult a family lawyer during separation and divorce to determine your legal rights and discover how you can put the best interests of your children first as you navigate these difficult...
read moreHow is Custody Decided in Ontario?
Custody battles are never easy, and the ones who suffer the most are always the children.?? Life is already complicated enough with a separation, but things have the potential to get extremely unpleasant when custody over children becomes part of the fight. According to Canada???s Divorce Act, custody includes “care, upbringing and any other incident of custody.” The term custody refers to what parent(s) make ???the major??? decisions for their children.?? Major decisions can be boiled down to three general categories – religious upbringing, medical, and educational decisions. Joint custody means that both parents make these major decisions together. Sole custody on the other hand, means that one parent makes the major decisions.?? If a parent does not have custody of their child, but has access to their child, they have a legal right to obtain information about the child from caregivers, health care professionals and educators, but do not have the ability to instruct them. If both parents have custody, both parents need to make decisions together and instruct caregivers, health care professionals, educators, and anyone else involved in the child???s life together. How is Custody Decided in Ontario? If the parents are married, then Canada???s Divorce Act provides direction for child custody in the event of a separation.?? If parents were not married, then the procedure for child custody is different in every province as each province has their own legislation. In Ontario, the guiding legislation is the Children???s Law Reform Act (CLRA).?? According to the CLRA, “a parent or any other person may apply to a court for an order respecting the custody of or access to the child or determining any aspect of the incidents of custody of the child.” There is no limitation on who can apply. Best Interests of the Child Both the Divorce Act and the Children???s Law Reform Act put the child???s best interests above all else. While there is no precise definition of the “best interests of the child”, one way to think about it is to consider what parenting arrangement will best encourage your children’s development, happiness and success.?? Consideration is given to what the child is already doing in their day-to-day life and if that constitutes their best interests. It???s important that the child experience as little disruption as possible. While deciding on custody, the judge can consider who provides the bulk of the childcare, who is responsible for taking the children to appointments and extracurricular events, if the parents are able to effectively communicate, etc. The law also requires that the judge consider if a spouse has ever been violent or abusive to another spouse or any children. when they make their custody decisions.?? Any incidents of neglect or negligence will also be reviewed in the custody decision process. In Ontario, the child???s best interest may extend to the child???s wishes and preferences once the child is old enough to have an informed and independent opinion that can be The law in Ontario will always put the best interest of the children above that of the adults in a custody battle. Although emotions can run high, it???s important for parents to remain as civil as possible during custody proceedings and to work with their family lawyers and the judge to come to the best possible outcome for...
read moreUnderstanding Spousal Support
The law views spousal relationships as financial partnerships. While the person with more income may have to pay support to the other, the law expects adults to look after their own needs. An important part of any separation is determining the eligibility for spousal support. The process for determining the eligibility of spousal support differs in each case. Ontario???s Family Law Act empowers the court to make support orders based on an obligation of spouses to support each other. In Ontario, the law defines ???spouse??? as including two persons who, (a) are married to each other, or (b) have together entered into a marriage that is voidable or void, in good faith. In addition, ???spouse??? includes either of two persons who are not married to each other and have cohabited (a) continuously for a period of not less than three years, or (b) in a relationship of some permanence, if they are the natural or adoptive parents of a child. The interesting thing about spousal support is that the amount and duration it is not legislated. There are, however, Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines that exist to help determine how much spousal support is to be paid and for how long. Although they are not technically law, these guidelines are frequently relied upon by judges when a decision is to be made on spousal support and as a result prove to be a reliable way to determine what payments may be. Who Receives Spousal Support? The purposes of an order for the support of a spouse include (a) recognizing the spouse???s contribution to the relationship and the economic consequences of the relationship for the spouse; (b) make fair provision to assist the spouse to become able to contribute to his or her own support; and (c) relieve financial hardship. Not everyone is entitled to receive spousal support. If the separating couple are each healthy, work relatively equal paying jobs, and each contributed to the care of the family during the relationship, then it is possible that the judge will not grant the payment of spousal support to either person. What Factors does a Court Consider? Judges must consider a number of factors when deciding if a spouse should get support after a divorce. These factors include the financial means and needs of both spouses, the length of the marriage, the roles of each spouse during their marriage, the effect of those roles and the breakdown of the marriage on both spouses’ current financial positions, the care of the children, the goal of encouraging a spouse who receives support to be self-sufficient in a reasonable period of time; and any orders, agreements or arrangements already made about spousal support. How Does Spousal Support Work? There are many things to know when it comes to spousal support. A few quick points about spousal support are: For monthly installments, the recipient must declare the support as income; Monthly installments paid are taxable to the recipient and deductible by the payer; Spousal support is available to couples who lived common law if continuously for a period of not less than three years, or to couples who were in a relationship of some permanence, if they are the natural or adoptive parents of a child; Spousal support is calculated after child support is accounted for;...
read morePassports and Travel Consent Forms
Vacation time is meant to be exciting and provide some much-needed rest and relaxation. However, in a situation where parents are separated, vacation isn???t as simple as hopping on a plane with your kids and travelling the world. There needs to be complete accountability for each child who wishes to leave Canada. Leaving the country is a big deal for all Canadian citizens, especially for minors. Getting a Passport A child???s passport will only be granted to a custodial parent or legal guardian.?? In the event of a divorce or separation, the parent with custody of the child may apply for the passport. Where there is joint custody, either parent may apply.?? However, it must be noted that both parents must participate in the passport application for their child, and both parents must sign the form, regardless of your relationship status or who has custody, unless there is a court order or agreement stating otherwise. ??If the non-custodial parent refuses to sign the passport application, you may have to bring the matter to court. Passport Canada requires that all custody agreements, court orders or any agreements relevant to the child???s custody be submitted while applying for your child???s passport. They must conduct thorough and extensive research to ensure that a passport is being given legally. Passport Canada may contact either or both parents of the child.?? If you have any questions about obtaining a passport for your child, be sure to visit your family lawyer for advice. Travel Consent Forms If a child is going to be travelling outside of Canada without all custodial adults present, it is wise to have a travel consent form or travel consent letter present on the child at all times. This form or letter is a legal document signed by all adults with custodial rights over the child saying they have their permission to be travelling in the country they are in. The letter from parents or guardians who are not accompanying them demonstrates that the Canadian children have permission to travel abroad. The parents do not need to be separated to require a travel consent form. If multiple adults have custody of a child and one adult will not be on the trip, a travel consent form should always be prepared and signed. Although a travel consent from is not legally required for a child to leave Canada, it is always a good idea to have one prepared to ensure safe passage into a foreign country for the child. It is recommended that you talk to your family lawyer prior to leaving the country with a minor if you think a travel consent form is needed. Child Safety If you are a parent or legal guardian and are concerned for the safety of your child and fear that the non-custodial parent or anyone else may submit an unauthorized passport application, you can add your child???s information to the Passport Program System Lookout List. By doing this, you are alerting the Passport Program???s office that additional follow-up is required when processing an application for that child. For more information on this service and the Passport Program, you can contact 1-800-567-6868, or visit your closest passport office. Don???t let your vacation be put on hold because of difficulty with passports or travel consent forms....
read morePrivate Investigators and Family Law
Family law is typically a messy business to be in. Whether it be for separation or custody battles, family law is not always an amicable practice. Since quite a bit of family law can be left up to ???he said she said,??? clients may choose to employ a private investigator to assist with strengthening their claims. Hiring a Private Investigator Typically your family lawyer may recommend a private investigative agency they use. If the information you gather is to be used as evidence in court, it is extremely important to hire a trustworthy agency.?? Listen to your family lawyer and only hire a reputable agency that will help your case, not hurt it. Do not hire an unlicensed agency, a friend, or attempt to investigate on your own. When Private Investigators are Typically Hired A common example for the use of a private investigator is in infidelity cases. Often simply the suspicion of infidelity is enough to eat away at trust and cause a breakdown in marriage. If there are multiple warning signs and you strongly suspect that your spouse is cheating, having concrete evidence provided by a private investigator is a strong way to end the relationship and begin the separation proceedings. ??Please note however, that the fact that your partner may have cheated on you is not generally a factor taken into consideration by the court when making decisions on custody, support or the division of property. Private Investigators are also used in custody battles. One use would be if a parent is putting his or her children at risk, such as drug use in the presence of the children, the confirmation of this by a private investigator could help remove the children from the irresponsible parent. It???s also helpful to sometimes investigate with the intention of monitoring someone as opposed to incriminating someone. If you are uncomfortable leaving your children with your ex-spouse or you suspect your ex is not adhering to the terms of the custody agreement, rest easy by having a private investigator report back to you on any misgivings. Sometimes it???s safe to go on the offensive. For instance, if a parent is not paying their spousal or child support because they claim to not be working, however investigations prove that they are in fact working off the books somewhere, this could be helpful information to have when going after them for full payment. There are few happy and cheerful occasions where you would hire a private investigator. Having someone else discover what you do not want to or cannot discover for yourself might be difficult to come to grips with. Be certain to be in constant contact with your family lawyer when using a private investigator so they can advise you on how to use any information discovered to your...
read moreThe Importance of Facilitating a Relationship Between Your Child and the Other Parent
A separation is difficult for everyone involved, especially if it???s not amicable. Things become even more complicated when there are children involved. There are many things going through your head during a separation, but it???s important to remember to put the child first. Even if you can???t stand to be in same room as your ex-spouse, maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship is critical for the child when both parents are willing and able to be involved. Putting the Children First Experiencing the divorce of their parents can be a very traumatic experience for a child. Children crave stability and boundaries, and oftentimes when a separation occurs it takes time to establish a new ???normal??? home life for the child. Although you may be angry with your ex-spouse, you must see past that anger to establish a co-parenting plan. If you refuse to work with your spouse to create a healthy co-parenting plan, the ones who will suffer most are the children. Children can sometimes believe that a divorce is their fault or that they can do something to restore their parents??? marriage. It is up to both parents to be certain blame is never placed on any child, and that these are adult issues. How Children are Affected by Divorce As much as your world changes in a split, it???s even harder for your children. Suddenly they have to have two different bedrooms, two different sets of rules and two different homes. In order for the children to adjust in a healthy way to the drastic changes in their lives, it???s imperative that the parents encourage a relationship with the other parent. Don???t pressure a child to pick sides or favour one parent over the other. Children are impressionable, so if you are constantly bad mouthing their other parent in their presence they might begin to adapt the same feelings towards your ex-spouse, which is not fair. No one says you have to get along perfectly with your ex, obviously they are an ex for a reason, but it is in your child???s best interest to maintain a healthy, trusting relationship with both parents. Keep lines of communication open with your ex-spouse with respect to anything to do with the children. It is important to do this because once those lines of communication are down, then the child will feel as if they are stuck in the middle of your fight. Reinforce to the child that the separation is not their fault, and that they are loved no matter which parent???s house they are in. Put their emotional needs over your own. It???s not an easy thing to do, but your children will be thankful. If you need assistance in creating a parenting agreement, please contact one of the lawyers at Court Coach...
read moreThe Importance of Keeping Notes and Documenting Events
If you are in any type of legal proceeding or family law matter you will notice a reoccurring theme: lots of paper. Litigation is paper intensive because there is always proof required no matter what you are arguing. It is extremely important to keep accurate notes on telephone calls, conversations, or events because recalling information can be difficult without the aid of your first-hand experience. Misremembering Events Have you ever recalled a story to a friend where you fabricated your response to what you wished you had of said from what was actually said? When we re-tell events from our past, we often will subconsciously insert minor bits of information that may not be true, or accidently omit something that had slipped our minds. ??It???s better to have accurate references notes made directly after an occurrence happened. Memory Loss of Details Aside from embellishment, memory loss is equally at fault when it comes to re-telling events. Perhaps you are involved in lengthy litigation and certain events will not be called upon for months or maybe even years. Forgetting of subtle details could be enough to lose your case. If something significant to an ongoing matter occurs be certain to write down as much information as possible, including the date, time, who was present, what happened, etc. Understanding Affidavits An affidavit is a written statement that is confirmed by oath. They are frequently used in court as evidence and are as admissible as a sworn statement given in person. Should something substantial happen to you and there be the need for legal action, prepare an affidavit stating what happened in full detail as soon as possible after an incident. Any lawyer or commissioner for taking affidavits can apply their stamp to the written statement and sign the document affirming that the affidavit contains information that is true to the best of the writer???s knowledge. By completing an affidavit while events are fresh in your mind, you eliminate the need to accurately recall events in vivid detail when it???s your time to go to court. Although it can be time consuming and even cumbersome to keep notes and proper documentation, it could be the step that saves your case. Don???t rely on your memory to recall events from the past with as much clarity as a properly written statement. It is always best to be over prepared rather than underprepared. ??Having detailed notes and event creating a timeline of events will also save you money in legal fees, as your lawyer will not have to spend time questioning you and obtaining all of the information themselves....
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