Not all separations or divorces are amicable and friendly. Sometimes a separation can come at an extreme shock to one of the parties causing immense pain and emotional distress. It is advisable following a traumatic separation to seek out the help of a trained therapist or counsellor to help you cope with the stress and difficulty of the breakdown of your relationship.
There are many causes that can lead to a separation, some may appear worse than others. One common reason is infidelity. This can cause serious emotional damage to the faithful partner especially if the marriage or relationship was one of many years. The distrust a person experiences after having their partner in life be unfaithful may leave them closed off to other relationships in the future, causing them to be distrusting and alone. Seeking therapy after a marriage or relationship that ended in infidelity may be the best way to start the path to emotional healing and a new and healthy life.
Another reason to seek out the help is if there was abuse in the relationship. An abused person carries the emotional scarring long after any physical wounds have disappeared. It can be almost impossible to trust anyone again after experiencing physical or emotional abuse and it is highly recommended to attend therapy and help sort through your feelings. There may also be lingering fear of the person who hurt you long after they have left your life. Talking with a counsellor may be the only way to completely overcome your fears.
In a situation where there has been abuse, don’t forget to get support for any children of the relationship in addition to yourself. Even if the children were themselves unharmed physically by abuse, there may be emotional trauma experienced that should be addressed by a child therapist who specializes in this area. Although older children may protest, it’s important to insist on some level of counselling in case there are buried issues beneath the surface.
Sometimes, even if there wasn’t any malicious behaviour behind the separation, the breakdown of the relationship itself is enough to cause someone to go into a depression. Adjusting to life without your partner and discovering who you are on your own can be a challenging process. If the divorce wasn’t for any reason other than people change over time and was more one sided than mutual, this can be difficult accept and manage. Don’t be ashamed or nervous to have a therapist assist you through the separation process, there is no need to undergo the stress of it all on your own.
Even if the separation or divorce was amicable, it can be a traumatic time for all. Family counselling can help both adults and children adjust to the new reality, express feelings, and empower the entire family with healthy communication techniques. Especially if there are children involved, it is important to seek assistance and support as the family enters a new chapter in life.